Do you realy get internet dating equivalent types of individual again and again and thinking precisely why it generally does not workout? Rebecca Perkins offers her top tricks men for men personals damaging the pattern

‘The concept of insanity is performing the same continuously, but anticipating a new result.’ This famous Albert Einstein estimate might appear to be an unusual solution to start a dating web log, but bear with me.

Once we have reached midlife, we’ve probably formed all sorts of viewpoints about whom we have been, the way we carry out acts and whatever you like and dislike. Frankly, we have come to be really set-in all of our means. Agreed? I was that lady too. And let’s not pretend here; a belief is just a thing that we have now considered a great deal that it’s come to be ‘real’ inside our heads. Beliefs can be handed down, generation to generation, if we’re perhaps not cautious.

We understood my personal type. I’d always outdated that style of man. The connections had always visited a finish with a feeling of unhappiness. Witty that. I became obviously missing out on some thing also it was actually time for me accomplish something else due to the fact, as Einstein stated, performing the same thing repeatedly, I found myself getting the exact same effects again and again.

Rethinking my personal type

So, by switching the way I seriously considered internet dating, the sort of guys I wanted to fulfill therefore the encounters i desired to own, it’s this that we learned:

We stumbled on understand that I became severely limiting myself, together with potential for satisfying some excellent guys, by following my personal sort. It was a bit like denying myself personally an entire variety of different flavours and strengths of tea simply because i have always inebriated English Breakfast – I became passing up on Oolong, Rooibos, Green, very early gray and more! I possibly could constantly choose that, really, Lapsang Souchong is not actually my personal cup of tea, not without trying it initially!

In the place of thinking about the ‘type’ of man I was searching for, I focused on the way I desired to feel in a relationship. By doing this I held my mind prepared for a variety of opportunities and exciting contacts that I would personally have missed otherwise.

Just what exactly if he wears cowboy shoes and likes nation songs whenever I’m alot more of a soul, jazz and R&B girl? What exactly if he loves football and I also love rugby? What exactly if every one of my friends would not accept? The only question I needed to inquire of myself personally ended up being, ‘am I having a good time?’ for my situation, it really was actually that simple. It had been merely a night out together, after all, and that knows in which that might lead?